The In-Between Cafe

There are more than four things to understand for a parent when their kids come out - below you'll find four, but before we get there that let's consider the 'in-between' space of a 'coming out' conversation:

There is an 'Elvis-themed' dining experience on the outskirts of Abu-Ghosh in the nation-state of Israel.

The road connecting the renowned West Bank with the coastal plains might seem like an obscure location for the 'Elvis American Cafe', but when the long history of the region is considered it actually begins to make sense.

This stretch of land identified as the 'Judean foothills' in the Christian Scriptures is also known in the Hebrew language as ‘Shephalah’. The region is more than a geographical location, it is a region littered with stories of the ‘in-between’.

Shephalah is the 'buffer-zone', a place where mediation and wrestle occur — sometimes resulting in conflict, and sometimes resulting in treaty.

Ancient literature recounts how the pagans from the coastlands interact with the pious as they descend from the religious bastion of Jerusalem.

Examples of living in the in-between continue to endure in current times. Throughout the Shephalah there are small villages where Jews and Muslims and Christians co-exist in functional governance and community.

Abu-Ghosh is one such village — uniquely demonstrating the possibility of people living their lives with mutual respect.

Able to live together in the in-between. Perhaps able to live together because of the in-between.

So, an annual gathering of Elvis impersonators almost makes sense in this 'in-between' part of the world.

This is a place where it’s safe to meet — whether you’re from the mountain, or the plains — safe to croon, safe to slick back your hair, maybe even don a sequin-covered jumpsuit.

It’s in the region of the in-between where the most obscure interactions, the most unexpected celebrations, even the most controversial discourse can happen.

This is the type of space required for a healthy 'coming out' for your young person -- this land of in-between -- from this place, here are four things you might wish you knew when kid came out.

STIGMA CUTS BOTH WAYS (there are some things I can't see, there are some things they can't see)

FEELINGS COME ON A SPECTRUM (holding emotional space)

LANGUAGE CAN BE LOADED (three lenses)

LOVE DOESN'T RUN OUT (love as an overflow)